Tag Archives: british politics

Hurrah for the DUP! An Election Reflection with Sir Eugene Nicks

20 Jun


Many Conservatives are concerned about their parliamentary party’s new deal with a hard right-wing, terrorism-linked outfit from Northern Ireland. Not so our regular pundit Sir Eugene Nicks, QC, KBE. 

Good Lord that election was a close shave, wasn’t it? We almost had for PM that buffoon who looks like he’s just staggered out of a folk music festival from 1967. And I know how much Star & Crescent readers hate him and his Monster Raving Stalinoid Labour Camp Party!

Alright, Mrs M’s campaign had about as much style as a solicitor has moral scruples or my old mate Peter Griffiths had cultural awareness, but I for one am very very very optimistic about our new collaboration with those lovely ladies and gentlemen of the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP). We are, at last, returning to our roots as true reactionaries. If only Mrs T* were still here to giggle about it as much as I am right now.

Read more here.

What Donna Can Learn From Donald

19 Apr

Photo credit; Screenshot from Saint Hoax’s #ElectionsDragYouOut video

In the spirit of boosting the ‘special relationship’, Sir Eugene Nicks KBE of the All-Portsmouth Conservative, Regressive and Imperial Association (established 1799), celebrates the similarities between the leader of Portsmouth City Council and the new leader of the Free World.

Isn’t this a whizzo time to be alive, readers? Me old mucker and business partner Donald Trump’s doing sterling work as the Lord High Maniac-in-Chief of Ol’ Washington Town. How delightful that, right now, his pus-coloured mane is drooping all over the nuclear red button. He’ll probably be dribbling over it too, but that’s one of many problems of his that I vowed to keep confidential.

I may be the only man on Earth – while it’s still here, anyway – who is personal chums with both Donald and Donna, his near-namesake and counterpart over here as leader of Portsmouth City Council. In other words, I’m on excellent terms with the most powerful, egotistical and offensive person in the world… and Donald Trump. And I view this connection as what the Donald might call a ‘golden shower opportunity’ – I think that’s business jargon for something or other – to bring two great minds and two great cultures closer together as we enter an exhilarating new epoch of hope, freedom and tolerance. Or something to that effect.

Read the rest of the article here.

Democracy in Portsmouth? It’d Be a Good Idea

27 Feb

In the wake of recent protests both local and global, I question how representative our elected representatives really are – in Portsmouth and beyond.

Criticisms of democracy have been around since the birth of democracy itself. But new questions are being asked in the West about how fair, efficient and representative our systems are given the allegations of dirty tricks in the run-up to the EU referendum and the election of Donald Trump with almost 3 million fewer votes than his opponent Hillary Clinton. The unprecedented protests against Trump across the United States are, in part, a symptom of public frustration with a perverse procedure that, on four occasions in American history, has handed the presidency to the candidate who won the electoral college but lost the popular vote.

Read the rest of this article here on Star & Crescent.

Brexit Doesn’t Go Far Enough

9 Dec

We present an almost considered opinion about the EU referendum from our columnist Sir Eugene Nicks QC, KBE, Policy Advisor to the All-Portsea Conservative, Regressive and Imperial Association (established 1799).

I trust all Star & Crescent readers are as delighted as I am by the result of the Grand Patriotic Plebiscite. This was a victory for fear over love, belief over thought, orderly queues over anarchic free-for-alls and knee-jerk invective over rational debate. In short, we as a nation – and as a city – succeeded because we played to our strengths. Read more here.

Got the Pompey Labour Blues?

20 Oct


In the wake of Jeremy Corbyn’s re-election, reactionary members of the Labour Party are pondering their next move. Sir Eugene Nicks, Policy Advisor to the All-Portsea Conservative, Regressive and Imperial Association (established 1799), has a proposal for them. Read it here on Star & Crescent.

Get off my %*&$ing land: Are trekkers a nuisance to landowners?

1 Nov

Research suggests that 70% of Britain’s land is owned by an extremely wealthy 1% of the population. This goes some way to explaining why trekkers and hikers have such difficulties exercising their right to roam.

Trek Holidays, Walking Holidays, National Trust, Trekking

Trekkers keep moaning about the lack of access. Image: Flickr/ Konrad Andrews

But, so the landowners counter, there are over 140,000 miles of Public Right of Way trails that lead to almost every corner of the country, so why do people who go on walking holidays keep moaning about lack of access?

Is this “baron versus vagabond” debate a waste of time or does it cut to the heart of a serious issue confronting modern Britain?


Hiking Sense

Those fortunate enough to own acres of beautiful and walkable terrain often cite the risks of vandalism and littering as good reasons to keep out the hoi polloi. In reality, though, the vast majority of those wanting to explore this green and pleasant land on foot do so with respect and care.

Many trekkers’ associations promote fairly strict codes of conduct such as the Countryside Code. This was established in 2004 but based on sensible ideas that date back to the 1930s, and explained more here on the National Trust website.

Hikers should leave no trace of their visit to the countryside, ensuring that they clean up everything from picnic leftovers to dog faeces. Failure to do so is not just an aesthetic consideration – it can cause hazards to wildlife too.

Above all, the Code advises hikers to cooperate with local people – especially those working on the land – at all times. Avoid herds of farm animals, listen to directions from farmers and, when walking on bridleways, give way to those riding horses.

Of course there are isolated incidents of idiots who abuse our natural environment, but in no way do they represent the overwhelming majority of people who visit the countryside.

Trek Holidays, Walking Holidays, National Trust, Trekking

Exercise your right to roam. Image: Flickr/ Tim Dobson

The Land is Ours

Another defence that landowners use is that they have worked hard to earn the money to buy their property, so why should they share it with people on family walking holidays and weekend jaunts?

Then again, others claim that the countryside is a national treasure for all to enjoy and to carve it up amongst a tiny elite is immoral, whether they can afford to pay for it or not.

But even if we take that argument on face value, many landowners belong to the aristocracy and so inherited rather than earned their personal meadows, valleys and forests.

In a modern democratic society is it really rational to cling on to outdated notions of birthright and lineage that essentially boil down to someone’s ancient forefather killing someone else’s ancient forefather, stealing their land and passing it down to their descendants?

A Draconian Future

According to Jeevan Vasagar of the Guardian, more and more public space in Britain – both rural and urban – is being privatised. This is bad news for hikers, as these new private owners are legally allowed to keep out whoever they like.

So what were once free and open community gathering places – a park or a beach, for example – are becoming mini-police states that criminalise citizens for simply wandering over an often invisible boundary.

Originally published on http://www.trekkingholidays.net/blog/2012/10/31/get-off-my-ing-land-are-trekkers-a-nuisance-to-landowners/