Who’s Who Entries

9 May

PIDDLECHRISTMAS, Bootjack Luders Portico M.Sc. (Catamenic Field Study), M.D., Ph.D.(Astrothuctic Soundwave Models); born 10th October 1879, Folkestone; son of Roderick Piddlechristmas and Cecilia Vex; married Fratella Feynman-Heisenberg 1907 who died in scientific experiment 1908; educated Royal Catling School, Trinity College, Cambridge, Vienna Institute of Cataplasmic Empirics, Midhurst Academy of Screaming; served in the King’s Light Theoretical Physicists Corps 1914-18; journalist with Natural Philosophy Tomorrow magazine (1919-21); Emeritus Professor of Nanoaudiometazilchoelectrics at Imperial College, London since 1921; musicological overseer of Aether Flyer since 1928; hon. fellow of Trinity since 1923; fellow of the Royal Society since 1923. Publications : Bucky Blasted Pigeon Ramp Theory: An Introduction (1911), I Ride A Quantum Noah Across This Newton’s Flood: The Collected Columns (1921), An Appraisal of Curious Innovations in Melodious Conveyance (1925, joint editor with Jean-Baptiste Bung-Bung-Solifaux). Leisure interests: practical eugenics, toolsheds, clotted cream enemas. Clubs: Neutron’s of Mayfair, The Pretty Nurse Ravishment Club of Knightsbridge.

FOSSETT, Henry Clodhopper ‘Cranky’; born 3rd July 1885, Skipton, educated at The Peregrine Antimony Workhouse; son of Nigel Fossett and Fanny Bukharin; apprentice to Sturmfleisser’s of Leeds, manufacturers of counterfeit zeppelin ladders 1898-1901; senior organiser for the Pom-Pom Piston Worker’s Union 1901-14; military engineer in the Eighth Potato Rocket Bombardiers 1914-18; surprise chimney delegate to the founding of the Third International 1919; technician for Professor Piddlechristmas’ multiversal deci-fractioning experiments 1920-28; member of Aether Flyer since 1928. Leisure interests: horse racing, revolutionary socialism, gruel-sniffing. Clubs: Flinch Hill Working Men’s Club.

FRAGMENT, The Hon. Theseus Flobgriffin Michaelmas Chiringhey Evinrude Plumharvester Dave; born 3rd December 1897, Guildford, educated St Shoosh and Don’t Tell School for Young Boys, Dunfermline, Eiderdown College, Oxford (sent down for conspicuously smack-corpsing and flid-diddling, 1916); son of Sir Emlyn Fragment and Fulgencia Saxe-Coburg-Gotha; irrepressible sass-rake, boon frisker and roué since 1918; nightclub baritenor and coin operated pokeyrump-trumpeteer since 1921; member of Aether Flyer since 1928. Leisure interests: fencing, cocktails, snobbery, regular and sometimes frequent insertion of Betty Hawking into his left nostril, routinely alternating elevenses, Sundays, Thursdays and Whitsun.Clubs: Park Lane Shame Chamber, The Highbury Shiver Collective, The Cradle of Health, Chelsea.

HARMONY, Kelvin Broadus ‘Doc’; born April 15th 1889, Whitechapel, London, educated at the Borstal Wing of Wandsworth Prison; parentage unknown; purveyor of psychotropic elixirs and tonics for the listless auctioneer and petrified housewife since 1899; renowned in parts of lower Bethnal Green for fistfight promenading, exercising the decorum corrupting powers of havoc whistling, peacock feather strewn rile-harbouring and knock-latency tempered force-mayhem galing; owner of The Aether Club since 1923 after adjacent excavations were pinned wholly on then partner S. E. Groves (lead singer with the Poor Mime Bandits) whose subsequent jail stretch yogi awaits the great black cap and gown in the sky; member of Aether Flyer since 1928.  Leisure interests: rock-boxing, crapple-cleaving, day-trips to the Court of Appeal, going to Hades in a blue rinse bother wagon. Clubs: The League of Rotters, Forks Out and Barking, Foster’s Mickey Lacing Bazaar.

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